Something meaningful

My couz tagged mi in this post recently, having read it I realised that this does not voice out just the writer's feelings (whoever he or she is) but mine as well.. at times... So I decided to re-post this short article which I find it very meaningful..

Happy reading!!  ♥ Gwen

引导语： 一直以来，很想弄清楚我们一直追求的是什么，而当我们真正看清的时候，不过是徒留失望罢了。

1、生活里，有很多转瞬即逝，像在车站的告别，刚刚还相互拥抱，转眼已各自天涯。很多时候，你不懂，我也不懂，就这样，说着说着就变了，听着听着就倦了，看着看着就厌了，跟着跟着就慢了，走着走着就散了，爱着爱着就淡了，想着想着就算了。

2、其时，我很累了，我习惯假装坚强，习惯了一个人面对所有，我不知道自己到底想怎么样。有时候我可以很开心的和每个人说话，可以很放肆的，可是却没有人知道，那不过是伪装，很刻意的伪装；我可以让自己很快乐很快乐，可是却找不到快乐的源头，只是傻笑。

3、有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆。有时候，夜深人静，突然觉得不是睡不着，而是固执地不想睡。有时候，听到一首歌， 就会突然想起一个人。有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。——丢了的自己，只能慢慢捡回来。

4、没有人有耐心听你讲完自己的故事，因为每个人都有自己的话要说；没有人喜欢听你抱怨生活，因为每个人都有自己的苦痛；世人多半寂寞，这世界愿意倾听， 习惯沉默的人，难得几个。——我再也不想对别人提起自己的过往，那些挣扎在梦魇中的寂寞，荒芜，还是交给时间，慢慢淡漠。

5、假如爱情可以解释，誓言可以修改。假如，你我的相遇，可以重新安排。那么，生活就会比较容易。假如有一天，我终于能将你忘记。然而，这不是随便传说的故事。也不是明天才要上演的戏剧。我无法找出原稿，然后，将你一笔抹去。

6、有人告诉我，鱼的记忆只有7秒，7秒之后它就不记得过去的事情，一切又都变成新的。所以，在那小小鱼缸里的鱼儿，永远不会感到无聊。我宁愿是条鱼，7 秒一过就什么都忘记，曾经遇到的人，曾经做过的事，都可以烟消云散。可我不是鱼，无法忘记我爱的人，无法忘记牵挂的苦，无法忘记相思的痛。

7、一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌。最后你会发现，原本费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。

8、所谓练习微笑，不是机械地挪动你的面部表情，而是努力地改变你的心态，调节你的心情。学会平静地接受现实，学会对自己说声顺其自然，学会坦然地面对厄运，学会积极地看待人生，学会凡事都往好处想。这样，阳光就会流进心里来，驱走恐惧，驱走黑暗，驱走所有。


9、心理学家推荐的能让你开心的事：每天拍几张照片；看快乐的电影；在周末的清晨做白日梦；给朋友寄卡片；在水边散步；偶尔吃一顿大餐；每星期坚持做一次锻炼；一边开车，一边大声歌唱；一边喝咖啡，一边读小说；一边打电话，一边信手涂鸦；一边洗澡，一边唱歌。

10、你见，或者不见我，我就在那里，不悲不喜；你念，或者不念我，情就在那里，不来不去；你爱，或者不爱我，爱就在那里，不增不减；你跟，或者不跟我，我的手就在你的手里，不舍不弃。——来我的怀里，或者让我住进你的心里，默然相爱，寂静欢喜。

11、曾经在某一个瞬间，我们以为自己长大了，有一天，我们终于发现，长大的含义除了欲望还有勇气和坚强，以及某种必须的牺牲。——在生活的面前我们还都是孩子，其实我们从未长大还不懂得爱和被爱。因为爱过，所以慈悲；因为懂得，所以宽容。

12、一生至少该有一次，为了某个人而忘了自己，不求有结果，不求同行，不求曾经拥有，甚至不求你爱我，只求在我最美的年华里，遇到你。

13、有些伤口，时间久了就会慢慢长好；有些委屈，受过了想通了也就释然了；有些伤痛，忍过了疼久了也成习惯了……然而却在很多孤独的瞬间，又重新涌上心头。——其实，有些藏在心底的话 ，并不是故意要去隐瞒，只是，并不是所有的疼痛，都可以呐喊。

14、最佳的报复不是仇恨，而是打心底发出的冷淡，干嘛花力气去恨一个不相干的人。

15、遇到一件事，如果你 ------ 喜欢它，那么享受它；不喜欢，那么避开它；避不开，那么改变它；改不了，那么接受它；接受不下，那么处理它；难以处理，那么就放下它。------ 其实，人最难的是“放下”。放下了，就释然了。

16、可以一个人唱歌，一个人喝咖啡，一个人涂鸦，一个人旅行，一个人逛大街，一个人在雨中漫步，一个人听音乐，一个人自言自语，一个人发呆，一个人跳舞，一个人看电视，一个人翻杂志...... 只有爱，是自己一个人做不到的。

 17、人一简单就快乐，一世故就变老。

18、感情再深，恩义再浓的朋友，天涯远隔，情义，终也慢慢疏淡。------ 不是说彼此的心变了，也不是说不再当对方是朋友，只是，远在天涯，喜怒哀乐不能共享。------ 原来，我们已是遥远得只剩下问候，问候还是好的，至少我们不曾把彼此忘记。

19、世界上最凄绝的距离是两个人本来距离很远，互不相识，忽然有一天，他们相识，相爱，距离变得很近。然后有一天，不再相爱了，本来很近的两个人，变得很远，甚至比以前更远。

20、如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光。

编后语： 这么美。那么伤。

It's a surprise..

This came as a very big surprise when Kumar came up to mi and handed over that sealed letter. It certainly brighten up my day even further though I'm already geared up for the long weekend ahead. I've never felt more appreciated than ever in my 7 years of working life... Thank you Kumar, thank you Siemens for giving mi the opportunity and believing that I can do it...

Mi, my job & my ♥ly team

Time flies, and I'm already into my 3rd month with Siemens doing pre-proposal qualification and preparation. Though my primary role is actually to create internal proposal-related documents for every project that the team is planning to bid for, I've also been taking up full proposal projects which are simpler as I still do not have that full technical experience yet... If you ever wonder if I dreaded that 'sideline', the answer is No and I am very much in love in what I'm doing right now..

The job responsibilities are exactly what I've been looking for since I left RELL but couldn't find it when I joined STTP.. And I found it right here in Siemens.. I hope this will be the last job till I retire or found a filthy rich husband to be a tai-tai. =p

Now, description of the team which I'm thankful for giving mi the opportunity to join them. There are a total of 8 in the team doing proposal for Oil & Gas Offshore projects, led by Kumar. Roger said it sounds like Snow White & the 7 Dwarves and so I'm inspired to cartoonise my lovely team..

♥   Kumar no doubt will be, Snow White
From the land of curry and spices comes Kumar who never fails to make us laugh with his jokes and comments.. As a head of the team, I felt that he's more sincere and approachable whether it be at work or social, as compared to other dept leads whom I've observed are always busy at maintaining politics instead

♥   Chua as Doc
Leader of the seven dwarfs. Chua does outdoor sales, so will seldom see him in office. I still remember his first advice to mi when we first met was "Do only what you are supposed to do for our team.. Outside of that, check with Kumar first"

♥   Joanne as Scrappy
Joanne's table is always in a mess and disorganised (SCRAPZ!) but she's one lady full of fighting spirit and proven capability.

♥   Yi Qun as Wiseful
Hometown in Hebei, PRC and married to a local sgporean for more than a decade, Yi Qun is our walking encyclopedia for technical specifications.

♥   Sarah as Happy
Happy is the joyous dwarf and is usually portrayed laughing. Very meticulous hot mama who looks young for her age. No one other than Sarah fits the bill, need I say more?

♥   Kandeepan as Bashful
Hailed from Sri Lanka, as the name describes Kandeepan (I like to call him "Candy-pan") is the shyest of the dwarfs, and is often embarrassed by the presence of any attention directed at him.

♥   Siang Wee as Baldy
No, Siang Wee is not botak as what the word seems to describe but Baldy's character is Bashful. Giggles. Gets red in the face which is what it meant for this Malaysian young boy who's quite quiet and yet very observant towards his surrounding.

♥   Mi!! as Daffy: Google for the meaning if you don't know~~ =p

我的答案。。

零晨 1点钟， 我失眠了。。=(
应该是那杯茶惹的祸。。 都怪自己馋嘴，快变熊猫啦！

拿起手机上了面博又没什么新的看点，来来去去都一样。。 有点厌倦。。无聊。。

探Youtube 一下，让我无意中找到《醉后决定爱上你》的片段。。
我又看了一次，虽然不是从头开始。。 只想听听看看两位的声音而已。。呵呵呵！！感觉好变态哦。。

其中一段， 晓如对杰修说：“也许是你的好让我一时晕船了，不小心划过那条不该侵犯的安全线。”

这句话我有莫名的感触也似乎对Gbb前几天的问题有了答案。。

也许他的好也让我晕船了。。=）

To my blog fans... (",)

I used to keep this blog private; or rather known to a few close frenz only...
But recently eversince it's made public, my visitor counter had some indication of increased readership..
This had given mi some motivation to be more active in updating here with my personal thoughts and experiences..

However I'm a curious writer at the same time, forever curious..

Therefore whoever you are, wherever you are.. When you read this, appreciate if you will also sign off/drop a line puuleeaase...

Dun keep mi in suspense k?

When 小朋友 is not that 小朋友

Mom, sis and her colleague YY were at the annual Club 21 Bazaar sale yesterday.
 
Just as they were looking around, Mom asked sis if she found what 小朋友 wants..
 
And YY's next response was, "ohh.. 小朋友的东西在另外一边.. 很多咧..."
 
Both mum and sis were surprised to with YY's reply, how come she knows who is 小朋友.. when YY continued, "Kids section there got a lot of 小朋友 stuff, buy for who huh?"
 
Only then mom and sis realised YY doesn't know they are talking about mi, and had thought they were talking about kids' (general term in Chinese)
 
What an embarrassment, now that there's one more person who knows about my nickname since young.. =S

A morning post

It'S 830am and I just got on my way to work.. In bus 518, nothing to do so decided to do a mobile post for the first time..

Actually my task now while travelling is to give Gbb's few days old qn a good think thru and reply her.. "If I want Premium to be my 杰修"

Already nearing TP liao, time for mi to alight and hop on to 23 to get to office..

I will post my answer later.. =)

A moment of thought..

Someone once asked mi why do I update my blog late in the night? My reply was bcos I can think better in silence, of things that I've seen or heard in the day and run an analysis on it...

Coming across some old wives talk again is sickening.. Especially when it's so old that I can't be bothered to listen for the second time but still it kinda prick my emotions a bit..

Ignorant remarks about mi not offering a lending hand, about mi taking sides, about mi getting closer to the others.. Is there anything wrong when I helped base on what I know and within limits; I said base on what I see; I make friends base on whom I can clique with.. So who the f do they think they are to make such remarks about mi when they only hear, but not see?

Furthermore what happened before has been a closure on my side for so long, why do these people have to dig it up and say it again?? Fix the problem they find and not keep blaming others..

Talk is cheap, but seeing is believing.. I hope one day when these people put themselves in my shoes, the stench will wake them up!

丁丁＆山猪妹的故事

I don't watch Taiwanese idol dramas usually as I find it's quite unrealistic, but recently I was hooked on 醉后决定爱上你 which aired its last episode on last Sunday.. The plot is rather good, realistic as it portrays another side of a romance that both end up together still..

The weekly screenings made mi look forward to every Monday, and thus no more blues 'cos it's 杰修's day.. =)



Towards the end of the last episode, there was a review of how 杰修 won 晓如's heart in 3 steps..

第一招：放狠话， 彻底消灭旧爱余威
第二招：灌米汤， 彻底把他融化
第三招：给承诺，越麻辣越好

And when I meet my own 杰修 (read, not 张孝全）, I shall execute the same process on him.. Muahahahhaha!!!

属于我的梦。。

一个熟悉的感觉，一个熟悉的面孔。。
但它不属于同一个人。。统统出现在我的梦境。。

醒来后的感觉很乱。。 怎么会这样？

给我那感觉的他，已经是往事。。
不想想太多，因为我们再也回不到过去了。。

出现在我梦境的他，可能潜意识想靠近。。
不想想太多，因为我还没确定那感觉。。

Gbb说我得认真去思考。。

I hope someone or something can give mi some enlightenment on this path... 因为我觉得我好像迷路了。。。

You Tweet, I Tweet, Everybody Tweet..

It has been a long long time since I last tweet.. So long that I've long forgotten my password, and user id.. No way of retrieving as the new password will be sent to that old hotmail acc which again, I screwed up on the password for login... keke.. What more can you expect from o'blur Gwen.. :@

So! I had a new account setup again few days back.. Hoping the vibe of tweet tweet will come back again... I'm looking forward.... (",)

辛苦了，幸福就会来了。。

It all started when I was still back in STTP, and I really hated the working environment and culture, not to mention the management as well.. I was already searching for "redemption" on my 3rd month in that company.. kekeke... Resumes sent almost every week, attending interviews once in a while but all no news..

Then Mr Germs came knocking quite frequently, till the extend I thought I had contracted some incurable diseases and am going to die soon... :P

So one day as I was chatting with a friend about my work woes, she told mi "Dun worry, gal.. 辛苦了，幸福就会来了, you'll find a new job soon.." I'm glad I took on that belief and held on..

This same phrase has now become my words of encouragement to others..

因为我的幸福真的来了。。 (",)

It's a small world

Life is so strange sometimes..

Things happen when you least expected it; and it happened to mi twice this week... Huatt ah!

First was finding out that Yeos' friend, Eric aka Panda, and I actually attended the same kindergarten; and also were neighbours living in opposite blocks within the same Prinsep Street estate almost 18 years ago.. And I'm amazed that he remembers, for I have minimal recollection of those.

Mixed feelings:- (1) Grateful that he kinda helped bring back some memories of that estate which had now become SMU hostel; (2) Thankful that he ain't that same boy whom I hit back then; (3) And unfortunately annoyed by his action of wanting to remain anonynomous after verifying my identity.. Why huh? Maybe he used to hold a torch for mi back then? hahahahahah.. Anyway we've all grown up and leading our own lives now, so it doesn't matter what happened then.. kekeke..

Secondly, I met him again and he is none other than my ex-partner whom I last saw in 2004.. And of all places, I had to see him outside Siemens lobby.. If only Sharon doesn't know him, she would not have spotted him and we would have walked past each other without mi noticing him. Seeing him again brought back the bad memories of finding out that he cheated on mi not once but twice, and once again on my birthday.. duhz! Of how he cried wolf when I initiated the breakup since I doubt I can trust him anymore.. Of how he threatened to hurt my family.. Of him asking for 分手费... It was an ugly breakup seriously.. Yucks! *shivers*

Seeing him again, I tried to be 大方 and waved "Hi" since what happened is all history now, but all he did was just a brief minister wave before walking off.. Really wonder what's wrong with him, if he hates mi that much then why try to add me over and over again in FB after each time of me deleting him off upon acceptance.. Move on, dude! Sighhzz...

男人，真的有时比女人更难以了解。。

30 days away from my big 3...

It's exactly 30 days before I begin my next decade journey.. Woohooo~! And I'm so looking forward to it...

And to commemorate this day, I had re-vamped my whole site with a fresh new look before I start a new posting of thoughts again.. Too bad about the header pic though as I dunno how to centralise it... siggghhhzzz~~

Goodbye 20s! You'll be missed badly~!